“Parents can only…”

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” ― Anne Frank

Hopefully we are all familiar with Disney Princess so I ask you what do Cinderella, Rapunzel, and Snow White all have in common? All three of these princess have horrible parents. Both Cinderella and Snow White have evil step mothers, and Rapunzel was kidnapped and raised by a crazy witch. This being said, as we know the stories to go, all three of the princesses turn out to be so fair, kind, and beautiful. How can this be? Well I believe that Anne Frank makes a good point. I am who I am because of the choices that I have made, just as the princesses are who they are because of the choices they have made. However, I have the best parents in the world, unlike Snow White whose stepmother tried to kill her, and my parents have played such an influential part in my life. Seriously my parents are the world’s greatest and this post is going to talk all about how they parented me growing up. 

I asked my mom what she thought the purpose of parenting was and she responded, “Parenting is about teaching your children, especially by example and loving them unconditionally, no matter what. Sometimes it means showing tough love and letting your children figure things out for themselves. You have to give your children respect and allow then to learn by giving them responsibilities.”

Growing up, my mom and dad took on a very active role in parenting. They had a good balance of love and firmness. They said what they meant and meant what they said, but you always knew they loved you. When I was in middle and high school and wanted to hang out with friends my parents assigned me a curfew. In 7^thgrade it started at 10pm and eventually by the end of high school my curfew had changed to 1am. My parents always told me that if I was late I would not be able to go out the following week. I remember the first time I was late for curfew, I was normally really good and was never late but this time I got home 30 minutes after my designated time, my parents had been waiting up and I walked in trying to be quiet. My mom and dad questioned me about my whereabouts. I told them where I’d been and tried to explain that it wasn’t my fault but my parents expressed the worry they had endured and then reminded me that I would not be able to go out the following week.

Unbeknownst the me at the time, but my parents were exercising a principle called Logical Consequences.That means having a reasonable consequence for a decision made. My parents set the consequence with me and I knew about it beforehand. There is also a principle called Natural Consequence, that is where there is an inevitable consequence for a decision made. When I was a little girl I use to worry about making a mistake especially at school. The first time I forgot my homework I panicked and called my mom and begged her to bring my homework up to school so that I wouldn’t have to turn it in late. Well she didn’t bring it. She told me it was unfortunate that I left it at home but she would be unable to bring up my homework. At the time I was furious with my mother but looking back on it I’m grateful for that experience because she respected me enough to let me go through that challenge. I suffered a lower grade but from that point on became more responsible with my work.

Parenting isn’t about coddling your children, being a pushover, or yelling at them. It is however about respecting them, being fair and discussing consequences to their actions with them and then giving them responsibilities so that they can learn and grow.