“The Secret to Blending Families…”

The secret to blending families is there is no secret. It’s scary and awesome and ragged and perfect and always changing. Love and laugh hard. Try again tomorrow. But that’s life advice, right?” – Mir Kamin

Today’s post is going to be one of a more sensitive topic: divorce and getting remarried. But first before we get into the bulk of this entry let me just make a quick announcement this will be my last post. It has been a wild ride and without further ado here’s my last post.

Marriage can be a very beautiful and special thing. As my Family Relations teacher always says, “marriage isn’t natural it’s supernatural.” What he means by this is that marriage takes work to be a great marriage. It encompasses many of the topics we have talked about previously such as, getting to know someone through dating, making decisions together, and communicating openly with one another. Sometimes, however, people don’t achieve this supernatural marriage and find dissatisfaction in their relationship. This can lead to separation and divorce from your spouse.

Statically speaking, only about 24% of marriages end in divorce. My family has been one of the 24% affected by this information to an extent. My dad was married once before my mother. My dad and his first wife were married for five years and in that time had a daughter together. Of course they ended their marriage by seeking divorce, and two years later my father met my mother.

When going through divorce there are different aspects to it. There is firstly the emotional divorce. This is where you notice that there is a problem and a lack of trust. You move that into a legal divorce where you take it to court. While at court you will you will divide up your assets and if children are involved a parental divorce. The court will decide what kind of custody each parent has with their children: joint legal or not, do the parents have the right to make legal decisions for them or not? And Joint Physical, where, when, who will the kids reside with. My dad had to go through this and it was decided that both him and his ex-wife had joint legal and physical custody.

After my dad went through his divorce around two years later he meet my mom and they fell in love and got married. With my dad daughter from a previous marriage my parents had to blend a family together. When blending a family know that it takes time. My parents, when they were first married established ground rules of my dad being the discipliner for his daughter and my mom supporting him. Step-parents should act like a awesome aunt or uncle. They should express love and encouragement to their step kids. Husband and wife should counsel and work together to blended together a wonderful family. All families are different and uniquely beautiful. Love each other 

Guys it has been quite an adventure these passed couples months sharing my thoughts and the information I have been learning, with all you guys. Here’s what I can definitively say. Family is the single most important thing in the world. The relationship you foster with your family with set you on your life path. They have a great influence on your life just like you have an impact on their life. If during any of these post you’ve realized things you and your family can improve on don’t be afraid to fix it. Don’t be afraid to initiate the change you want to see. Don’t forget to thank your family for what they have done for you and cherish them always.

“Chapter 14.” Marriage and Family: the Quest for Intimacy, by Robert H. Lauer and Jeanette C. Lauer, 8th ed., McGraw-Hill Higher Education, 2011, pp. 309–332.

“Chapter 15.” Marriage and Family: the Quest for Intimacy, by Robert H. Lauer and Jeanette C. Lauer, 8th ed., McGraw-Hill Higher Education, 2011, pp. 333–353.